Once there was a big ogre named Trumpelstiltskin. He lived in the United States and ate babies
when he could get them. The thing about
this guy is he always had to get “a deal.”
And so he went far and wide seeking
deals until he became known as the Master of the Deal. In more narrow circles he was known as The Ogre Who Eats Babies.
One day
Trumpelstilskin had just grabbed a Mexican baby from its brightly embroidered stroller and started chewing on its foot. “No!” cried its mother. “If you will spare my baby I will spin golden
hair upon your head.”
Trumplestiltskin
said, “No way.”
The
mother nodded grimly. “Way.”
So
Trumpelstiltskin went in search of other babies to eat and see what deals he could make for other missing parts of
his body. First he found a baby Chinaman
sitting in the middle of a bucket. Trumpelstiltskin
ate it.
For the
time satiated, he returned to the Mexican mother to get his reward but she wasn’t there
anymore. Then he went bananas and looked
for a monkey to eat and said, “God damn it.”
“Yuk,”
Trumpelstiltskin said, spitting out the
monkey’s face.
Then
Trumpelstiltskin had an idea. He started
to eat a baby F.B.I. agent. When its
father begged him not to, the ogre said, “I will not eat this baby if you will
find the Mexican woman who can spin golden hair upon my head.”
The F.B.I.
agent looked puzzled. “Which one? There are many.”
Then
Trumpelstitskin truly went crazy.
To be continued…
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