Thursday, January 21, 2016

Invading the Oscars

Wil Smith's boycott of the Oscars is a prime example of what happens when you let Negroes participate in things a little out of their line. Instead of being glad we let them be in the movies, and it wasn't always that way, now they have to get Academy Awards.

They should remember whose game they're being allowed to play in. That doesn't mean they have to win. We don't go around trying to get in their checkers games and then getting upset if we lose. They generally don't let us on their football, basketball or track teams. And if we do get on, we don't expect to get awards. Everybody doesn't have to do everything.
It's like with the busses. Why can't they be satisfied just to ride in them. They didn't invent busses. Left up to Negroes we'd all still be walking to work.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

the voice of reason

Dear Trumpelstiltskin -

Why are you so fat? Do you want to explode next to a terrorist cell? Do you like to fart? I do. How come I don't have much to say? How about this – Why did you say mean things about my brother George? Come on Trumpelstiltskin, don't be mean. Put my thunder back where you got it from. I'm supposed to be the one everybody's arguing with. Let me be president. Out of millions of families in this great land of ours, why shouldn't three of them come from the same one?  That really proves anybody can grow up to be president.   Why are you so tall, Trumpelstiltskin? You're supposed to be tiny. Stop hurting everybody's feelings, Trumpelstiltskin. Think a different way. Then we can be friends and play together in the billionaire's garden of life.

Love,

Jeb

Friday, January 15, 2016

An Open Letter to Isis


Dear Isis,

How are you? I'm fine. Are you a bunch of sand niggers? My girlfriend is a sand nigger. She will blow you. Does that make you hate my freedom? Why is your name isis? Is you or is you not? Or is you isis? I don't get it.

Hey –Marco Rubio will also blow you – up. Then you'll be isnot. And you won't be so tough. Do you watch the Big Bang Theory? Because I've got a big bang theory for you. BIGBANG!

Hey – do you know what time it is? Me neither. Who cares? So what are you doing right now? Do you like to go fishing? Because I do. What do you like to catch? Sand eels?   What's it like in the Middle East? East of what? Did you ever hear of Howdy Doody? Do you want to come to America? Did you ever see Donald Trump naked? He always says what his mouth thinks.

Well that's all for now.

Love,
Jeb

Thursday, January 14, 2016

The Paternal Order of Polar Bears

Just talking business over hot drinks in a 7-11/ Dunkin Donuts with an articulate, thoughtful guy I recently met who after ten minutes already has revealed  a non religious, spiritual view of God, supported by belief in a higher power, no clue what form it would take.  He also believes time to be a man-made item and  only "now" exists, past and future mere illusions; all thought provoking stuff indicating intelligence(for a human) and one who exalts the level of his thinking to concepts of a high order.  Enter politics.  He chanced to say he dislikes our first Irish president. I asked him why.
      "He wants to dismantle the country."
       Again I ask why.
       "Look at his father."
       "Okay."
       "He's a Muslim communist.   His mother's white and she's a Muslim communist."
       "I thought he's only seen his father one time."
       "He wrote a book called Through the Eyes of my Father.  He's spent a lot of time with him."

Ever since the advent on the public stage of The World's Stupidest White Man (there is a race of blue people living inside automobile gas tanks, rumored to all be stupider than Ronald Reagan but skepticism is running high and none has been interviewed yet for the job), I have observed a pattern:  People can discourse on a variety of subjects coherently but let them stray into the political zone and they turn into baboons with diarrhea on the dinner table.  I'm still not sure if politics makes people stupid, renders them temporarily insane or if it's such an intrinsically stupid area that one cannot speak about it intelligently.  The chilling fact is, my views on the matter probably sound just as dumb to him.