Trumpelstitskin was so happy he farted a flock of partridges out his ears and got a television show. The show was called “I Want to Eat Your Baby.” According to the rules, non Mexican women had to bring a baby with them and weave golden strands upon his head. If they failed, of course he processed their babies. This proved that Trumpelstiltskin liked eating babies even better than golden strands upon his head. But then a bald blonde woman with a North Carolina accent and the most delectable looking baby wove the golden strands.
“No,” said Trumpelstiltskin, panicking. “Don’t do that. I only want your baby.”
But the woman kept weaving golden strands and wouldn’t stop until Trumpelstiltskin’s Nielsen rating got so low that he didn’t have a tv show.
Meanwhile the woman got so focused on her job that somebody else came in and quickly ate the baby.
“Now what?” Trumplestitskin probably thought, though no one can know for sure.
The years wore on and Trumpelstiltskin grew more irritable. He became a sailor and wore a sailor suit on the high seas. Even this did not satisfy him so he came back to Spain and ate hot dogs out the wazoo.
Then his wazoo wore out and he became a rich billionaire who everybody knew about, mainly because of his name, which had “rump” in it.
to be continued ...