Tuesday, April 26, 2016

reporting from the vast wasteland

May the Good Lord deliver me from local news. I admit it was my fault.  I didn't turn it on but I paused in front of it long enough to hear some white woman reporter treating the fact that someone was killed driving their car under a truck like it was fiction.  Such exciting enunciation!  Then she says, "It's a story you'll only see on WESH!"  Woohoo! I'm in. I ain't touchin that dial.   That's all it is to her, a damn story, so what if lives are shattered, loved ones lost.  It's entertaining.  It's great!! Probably thinks it's pretty hilarious when people get decapitated.   Next thing I saw was a black woman with an orange jacket on so she doesn't get hit by a car all excited showing us where it happened.  The very spot!  So callous reporters come in all colors.  I just have to say, What the Hell is wrong with these people?  Did they have any upbringing at all?   They probably didn't, they're not mean people, they just don't know any better.  

Sunday, April 24, 2016

I'd like to give the world a Captain Ely's Root Beer

Ain't technology marvelous? Today's destitute possess marvels beyond the reach and imagination of any twentieth century tycoon. But they're still destitute.  So does that mean it's better to be destitute now than a tycoon then?

I just realized that people whose lives are entwined into the internet live with a shared consciousness. The internet. With facebook and assbook and everything else, they're all like one being. Everything happens to everybody at the same time so there is no need to inform anybody about anything because they're already up on the Great Public Restroom Debate. I believe our individual lives are already subjugated and on their way to extinction. We are, truly and at last, the world. Have a Coke.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

quote of the day - at planning and zoning board

addressed to a member of the rabble who was trying to clarify something:  "Stop talking.  You can't speak.  This is a public hearing."  That pretty much said it all.  Having witnessed this particular coven concerning further designs on the Econ, I feel unclean from my proximity to the "board members."  I hope it will pass.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Advice from Bass Fishing in Outer Space

Never bring a bluegill to a tarpon fight.



Monday, April 18, 2016

When the incompetent can't vote, we shouldn't either

We all know why felons can't vote in Florida and it's because they're mostly Democrats.  There is no such distinction for the elderly and otherwise deemed incompetent to vote.  It is simply a mean, cruel slap in the face to citizens who have proudly cast their ballots as Americans and suddenly are prohibited from doing so. I just saw it on tv.  Miriam Lancaster, a friend of mine, 100 years feisty, was turned away from the polls because she now has a guardian.  And she's white!!?!

In order to vote she must face a competency hearing, at which I am certain she will be the most intelligent person.   I simply must write, What the Hell is wrong with this state?  So what if they're lunatics or they think Truman is running.  What can it hurt to let them vote?  They've earned the dubious privilege.   There's no Demented Party, other than the GOP that they're going to vote in a block for.  Democracy is not at risk from simply showing these Americans common decency.  But I think they're feelings are greatly at risk from this affront. 

Furthermore, since there clearly is no standard of sanity for the candidates, why must there be one for voters?  Let the competency tests start where they can do some good.  It's time we started demanding a higher standard of treatment from our rulers.  In solidarity we all should stop voting until we all can.  If we are too weak to take this feeble stand, then I guess it is true we get the government we deserve.