Saturday, December 29, 2018

parades

Having a parade today. Humans can't get enough parades. It is not the opposable thumb but man's ability to watch a thousand parades, each as if it were the first, that marks his distinction from the lower life forms. Witness the faith exhibited as people gather early, to be assured of a quality spot on the curb. Always these congregations are rewarded with a parade. If the parade comes only because they are there, I do not know. I do know when they do not congregate there is no parade.

Sometimes lower animals are in parades but their friends don't watch them. One would imagine their fellows proud that some of their species have advanced to a human parade. Perhaps they aren't smart enough to watch a parade. Yes, that must be it.

Sometimes the parade ends and people go home. So do the horses and dogs. There's no more parade.



Friday, December 28, 2018

different strokes






Many of us have embraced in varying degrees the urban myth that the colossally moneyed find tedious their easy, vacuous, jobless lives; that they recline in some lovely setting or another envying the irresponsible workers our pathetic challenges, petty bickering, regularly renewed fight for solvency, our microscopic victories and perhaps most of all, yes, our Budweiser. It was a nice delusion and Donald Trump has left us without it. Per our intimate exposure to the new transparent president, we have been invited to view unadorned the social gulf between rabble and rich and contemplate how small might be the common ground.
To folks never burdened with a regular job, the idea of TGIF, the actual wishing away of 5/7 of life would be appalling. I now believe most of the 'One percent” never heard the saying and wouldn't quite get it if they did. In fact they probably have little use for the names of days, the very units that count down workers' lives. Those barons who can figure out what TGIF means cannot possibly look upon beings who live that way with any feeling of equanimity. Only pity and exaltation.
Our great literature is not the literature of the mighty. They may as well read tales of some alien life form as try to comprehend Steinbeck. They know nothing of the Grapes of Wrath unless force fed them by their parents to show them how lucky they are not to be Okies. And then the strong character of the Joad family would just seem pointless in its lack of upward mobility. Perhaps they read such as The Great Gatsby and Anna Karenina. The President on-the-air encouraged radio host Howard Stern to refer to his daughter as “a piece of ass”, a face-punching slur to most lower class fathers. That made me wonder if the rich don't respect or care for their children as do the commoners. Strip the rabble of their children and little remains. Without children the rich still are rich, admired and plenty important to many people. In their overall scheme, they invest relatively little of themselves in their progeny.
The luxuriantly leisured don't watch tv dramas and sitcoms. Tv shows feature middle class Americans because viewers like to watch people they relate to. No sequel to the Honeymooners is airing, not because people like the Kramdens don't watch tv but because they don't buy enough stuff to attract sponsors. The impossibly well-healed don't watch because there are no shows featuring their ilk except maybe Downton Abbey. How can they get involved in the lives of humans calamitously mired in the abyss, pawns not players, bills their only demon, a trouble-free life for their families their lone, frail hope. Such a boring goal to one born into it.
As Donald Trump showed us with his ignorance of how to check out at the, how do we say? Cash register, the wildly wealthy don't attend the grocery store anymore than the ranch owner goes outside and slurps with the cows. That's our feeding trough. Apparently they match our ignorance of their lives with their ignorance of ours. At least they're benevolent gods.


Thursday, December 20, 2018

notes on a common malady

It's full-blown now – the new bigotry I predicted. Hilary Clinton made it official by labeling us “deplorables.” By “us” I mean we must stand with the oppressed. When the KKK comes to town we all should be black, where there are Nazis we must be Jews as the Danes did and yes, when U.S. citizens scorn those who exercised their right to vote for Donald Trump, we all must be Trump supporters. Anything else is cowardly, remaining safe in our cocoon of acceptance. Revilers of the president must join hands with his fans because people choosing a candidate is not the problem. The Democratic National Conjob with its Stupor-Delegates, and the complicit information outlets which derailed Bernie Sanders is the problem. 

It's time to admit we're in this together, that we're all earthlings subject to the same crappy whims of government. Freedom – that would be a nice form of government but we got Democracy instead. Freedom actually is free. Democracy ain't. When did Americans forget that it's us against the man? The man being anyone sitting back in the lap of luxury on our five-day work week. Our values rarely mesh with those of the wealthy because, unlike us, they have actual value. Values is a consolation prize we get for staying at the bottom of the pyramid. The chronically wealthy have little use for values as Donald Trump has candidly demonstrated to us, let the cat out of the bag so to speak.
There they are – isolated and exposed. What greater strength than to identify the true culprits and get to the heart of the matter instead of the red herring; find the one who stands there smugly tormenting you in your last moments of life. Gouge the matador, not the cape.

Soon Trump will be gone; but Trump supporters will walk among us for decades as people who supported him and thereby earned our scorn and mistrust. They can leave it behind but they can no more alter that stain than a person can change color. Lacking outward clues, your 2016 election choice may become a standard question on job applications. Affirmative action may have to be afforded these Americans.

Or not. What say we wise up? Twig the game. Refuse the bait. Stick together. Stick it to the man.

Saturday, December 15, 2018

If freedom isn't free, then why is it called freedom?

Monday, December 10, 2018

The abalone of doom is in the room.  Quick - the broom!

Wednesday, November 07, 2018

the system at werk

The Florida electorate really knows how to shake things up. Here's some typical dinner table talk:

“Congressman Ron Desantis is a real asshole.”
“Yup. Smell 'im a mile away.”
“You know it. That there's the authentic article.”
“You betcha.”
“Let's make him guv'ner.”
“Alright.”
“And while we're at it, the guv'ner we got now's a real ding-dong.”
Heads start nodding in consideration. “Yup. No doubt about it. Whyn't we make him Senitter?
“Cuz he ain't no career politician.”
"Alright."

Like Dylan said, “The time's they are a–changing.”
Changing diapers.

Tuesday, November 06, 2018

post election trauma

So now we've got Governor  Asshole and Senator Shit-for-Brains. Thank God for Republicans.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

take me out to the war game

It's a constant "battle" to keep up with the  militarization of Major League Baseball, evidenced, among other things, by teams getting big bucks from the Pentagon to put camo on their players while warming up.  During the present playoffs I have noticed the weaponizing of the game.  No longer does a pitcher have pitches.  No, the broadcasters say he has weapons - like curve balls and sliders.   No longer is the player himself a human endowed with free will and the desire to be out there playing ball.  No, he himself is a weapon to be coldly discharged by the battalion he's on.

Used to be it was safe for kids to watch baseball.

Monday, October 01, 2018

redefining Terms for the New Age


In revealing the address of the Kavanaugh hearing as Hell, Lindsay Graham granted us all a sigh of relief. And why would he lie? He's a United States senator. Not so bad after all, Hell. Seen lots of worse Earthly places. You live in Iraq or Syria awhile, you finally get killed, you're an evil bastard and you go to the United States Senate. On the whole, a bit of an upgrade. Sure it's tedious as Hell, but no fire, brimstone or dinky Rosie O'Donnells prodding you with pitchforks. Might just be worth it.

Kavanaugh himself gave us a light look at the “destroyed family.” Case in point his. Doesn't fit my outdated idea of destroyed but the times they are a changin'. Seems to me they're all still there, his daughters now imbued with a reason to take Karate to bypass debating certain subjects at school; it's all good and could come in mighty handy someday at a party. If their dad is an honest man as advertised, and his children know, he will apprise them of his innocence and they will believe him, as does his wife already. His family will rally 'round him stronger than ever, cemented by a common enemy and martial art.
I now find myself in need of a new word to describe a family with members blown up, shot or killed by natural cataclysm, destroyed having been conscripted for more lofty circumstances. Obliviated? Annihilated? Collateral? How about decommissioned.

His senate hearing is Kavanaugh's idea of a circus. Apparently he never was taken to the circus when a child. He always wanted to go and here is his chance to believe he has. “This is a circus!” he cries at long last.  It's nothing like a circus.  Well, maybe a very boring one. No trapeze, no jugglers, only people sitting in chairs. Well, no lack of clowns. Maybe he relates to the tormenting of other elephants, isolated from family and friends, forced to perform tricks. Perhaps he foresees himself rooming with Mr. Cosby if this goes far enough.


Monday, September 24, 2018

making lemmingade from lemmings

Shake we not our heads derisively at the stupid lemming following his fellows over the cliff; for here we come.

Monday, September 03, 2018

The best they can do


The two-party system works only when both parties offer satisfactory candidates who elevate each other beyond the low bar of their rhetoric. In Florida the GOP has forfeited this responsibility. When Republicans can win no matter whom they nominate, it seems they'll nominate just about anybody. It's more about getting their adherents to the polls than presenting a candidate who will be good for the state. As of the current gubernatorial contest, any Florida voter still proud to be a Republican has a mighty high threshold of shame.

I sell fishing stories to Florida Sportsman Magazine but if I were writing speeches for Andrew Gillum, he'd open the first debate like this:
“ I have striven, as most people, to educate myself, gain valuable experience and to be the best person I can be. I am ready now to make my case to represent Floridians as their governor. It is with a sense of the surreal that I am here to debate a man who parades ignorance as a virtue to be carried into that office. All I can do this evening is demonstrate as clearly as I can, the difference. “

Friday, August 17, 2018

it's in the knees

Americans – Our rallying cries are free will, freedom of expression, humor, independence, innovation – not programmed like a robot or something. Put 40,000 of us in a stadium together, play on the public address system most any of the thousands of melodies we know and we will sit there and hopefully enjoy the music, depending on taste. Play one particular melody out of those thousands and everyone, en masse, will stand up and remain so as long as this melody lasts, no matter how pleasingly or poorly it is presented. When the melody quits, they will sit back down. If anyone deviates from this behavior, even if he has performed his duty a hundred times before, he may be remonstrated, shunned and publicly chastised, depending on his station in society.

Sure it's a nutrageous idea but maybe Americans are just mindless automotons. That would explain a lot.

Monday, July 23, 2018

Good bye American pie

For those who failed to tune in to the military indoctrination film  aired a couple nights ago on your stupivision screen, the American League again won the obligatory baseball game. 

Yes, this is where we are now.  Within the expanded military budget, apparently there's  room for more advertising, so before the baseball we get a short film showing how fun war is too.  Isn't this just the sort of thing we smugly ridiculed dictatorships for doing?   It's been a gradual build up, hardly noticeable until now.  First we had the pregame Indoctrinational Anthem, then 911 got Take me out to the Ballgame replaced by God Bless Americans at the seventh inning stretch, establishing  the diety's favor with anything done by a people who watch and play baseball.

This of course followed up by immersion in the catalyst, beer and whiskey.  They know kids are watching this wholesome sport next to their alcohol imbibing parents and the advertisements for both remind them that one day they too can become inebriated and watch sports instead of playing them and then, filled with patriotic fervor, stagger out and enlist.

There was a time when hard alcohol ads were prohibited in tv, beer seen as an adequate gateway drug.  Apparently those days are over.  They're not taking any chances. North Korea has shown our puppeteers the way.  The land of the free white people and the home of the brave colored people has simply become the Indoctri-nation.  The true  reason for televising sports is finally out in the open.  Hallelujah

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

it's all in what you want to see

The stats are in from my sales of "Make America Good Again" t- shirts.  Many like it but mainly only Trumpets have the courage to buy one, accounting for most of my sales. In missing my intent, they have shown the irrelevancy of  it.  They will wear it proudly at least for a little while.

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

dumbdown update

Inadvertently exposed yesterday to tv news and what must be called astounding stupidness. A ten minute bit on some new invention we can buy that might keep “skimmers” from stealing our souls through credit cards at the gas pump. Never once was a foolproof ancient invention acknowledged called “cash.”
Here's the interesting part: the very presence of this indicates evidence that this simple solution to the threat never will occur to a pretty decent chunk of their audience. They'll just line up to buy the new gadget.

Modern man. You gotta love 'im.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

been noticing proponents of the second amendment don't seem to care much for the first.

Monday, April 23, 2018

Old timer in Ormond Beach telling me about how things usta be. Apparently there's quite a lot of that.  Honey bees getting replaced by the usta bees.  Helluva thing.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

People can say what they want but there is no solid American foreign policy beyond “Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out.” The government always justifies its mass murders – threat to manifest destiny, threat to the American people, spread of some form of taxation not democracy, saving foreigners from their own evil dictator or religion, the end justifies the means, etc.

Sure the government executes on a far grander scale but “Why, I'm thinking, shouldn't school shootings by individuals be similarly justified?” After all, as the government has shown us, every cloud has a silver lining.

Of course it would be impractical for a school killer to build his case ahead of time to make more palatable the deed as the government has the luxury of doing, but a standing reusable list comes to mind. It could be displayed prominently behind talking heads relating the current tragedy or as a sidebar to newspaper accounts, to help the informed understand it wasn't all for nothing. On the radio news it might be read off at the close of coverage like a rapid-fire disclaimer:

Suggested justifications for school shootings:

/ Some of the dead probably would have grown up to be senators, congressmen or county commissioners.

/ Some may have joined the NRA.

/ Somebody there may have cured cancer, thereby hurting the economy.

/ The planet is overpopulated and our habitat's getting unbalanced. Let's face it – deforestation must be countered by dehumanization.

/ On a planet degraded by greedy white people, they didn't have much to live for anyway.

/ They remind us, in yet another form, that the value of human life runs counter to the value of money.

/ They show  how dangerous education can be.

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Real women don't watch their trunk lids close.

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

just viewing a vietnam war memorial to people i attended high school with. 24 of them the government murdered. That ranks pretty high as far as school massacres go.
The government sets the tone. No wonder twisted kids think it's alright to kill. They see it from the twisted people in authority.

latest update

"Sure we're lousing up the planet but you have to look at the big picture. The galaxy's in good shape.  Still a pretty good galaxy."  -  Donald Trump

Wednesday, February 21, 2018


I just saw a press conference with Rick Scott concerning ways to make schools safe from being shot up. So-called newspeople beating the same old drums. I suppose it's safe for them to base the debate on the tip of the iceberg, the guns – very nebulous subject, so many aspects, constitution and all. As usual nothing will happen and nobody will be clearly to blame for this. The whole discussion is getting creepier by the day – more and more of this weird pantomime dancing around the very obvious fact that the fault for these shootings and their escalating rate of occurrence lies squarely in the lap of the “news” media. If you're someone steadfastly clinging to the “lack of gun control” argument, I suggest you look to a simpler solution.  The pathway to celebrity must be blocked.

Let's just start small – no reward for the deed. No naming of the killer in the press. No images of him. No profiles. Just low-key reporting of the event. Nobody making money off it – no extra newspapers sold, no added revenue for the tv news sponsors. It's easy – maybe even an executive order is all it would take.

I would like to know why this argument is not being made. Is it really because the entertainment value of mass shootings offers an economic boost that cannot be turned away from? Or am I just missing something?



 


Sunday, February 18, 2018

getting to be old hat


Relating to the latest mass shooting, having observed the various newspapers fighting for newsstand dominance with the catchiest headline and tv networks outdoing each other in quest of audience share with the interminableness of their coverage, I couldn't help realizing this was the perfect, most elegant hypocrisy. Forget about gun control as a solution to the mass shooting epidemic. It's the media coverage that is the reward for these actions. Without the headlines and celebrity there would be little reason for these lonely white boys to carry out their fantasies. Surely the newspaper and television people know this, yet they continue providing the incentive. With every word of calculated regret and expression of horror, with the very same breath, they are setting the stage for the next one.

As I ate my public breakfast this morning surrounded by tv's, a woman down the way said in disgust of a talking head, “It's them that's causing it.” It was the first time I'd ever heard anybody point out that very obvious fact.
 
The only logical conclusion to draw is that it is intentional, else why would they do it? To take it a step further, maybe we, the people subconsciously enjoy the whole circus. Maybe deep down somewhere we get that good old relief that it wasn't us, wasn't our kids. If not, why do so many people buy the papers and watch the coverage when we know that encourages the media to continue the cycle?

I think we should face this fact: that mass shootings fall in the category of entertainment and therefore big business. If we face this, and feel wrong enough about it, then maybe something will be done to prevent them. 




Tuesday, January 30, 2018

yuk

just watched the whole state of the union spiel.  Reminded me of a song i never liked much - "What the world needs now is love, sweet love..."  But it's not love.  It's Pepto Bismol.

Monday, January 22, 2018

as long as it's sharper than cheese

I was selling my surprisingly grate books this weekend at the Fellsmere Frogleg Festival.  Talk about squandering a great abbreviation!  Anyway, guy next to me selling Cutco knives.  I was astounded by the many people who walked excitedly to his booth and then paid hundreds of dollars for a knife or two.  Eknife already!  Who knew you could fondle a knife,, examine it and discover so many fascinating and utilitarian aspects to it.  It's a knife.  That's all it is. They have knives at the thrift shop for a dollar, I wanted to yell.

Maybe it was sour grapes.  Despite the cutting edge grammar and rapier wit in my books,  they chose his product over mine for ten times the price.   One observation was unavoidable, that many Americans take greater care in choosing their kitchen utensils than their White House occupant..

Friday, January 12, 2018

the Trumpet

Donald Trump is just a megaphone attached to Republican politicians' brains.  We should be grateful for the enlightenment.

Maybe after the presidency he'll host a show called "What they were Really thinking  when they Said That."

Monday, January 01, 2018

munching bags

Just a note here on how farcical is the hue and cry over Russo-American election tampering Maybe Putin observed that tampering is the essence of democracy and he was practicing in case it should some day grace his land.

Seems to me government by the people, for and of has perished from the United States less than 200 years since Lincoln posed the possibility. A new set of prepositions has been installed: at the people, on the people, to the people. Too many people. I'm wondering why it's portrayed as shocking when foreigners de-democratize us, but it's business as usual by Americans. If democracy is sacred, then Republican gerrymandering is treasonous and corporate buying of the electorate sanctioned by our “representatives” is blasphemy. If the puppeteers care so much about our inalienable rights, what was that we were allowed to glimpse in 2000? When GOP thugs were beating down a Dade County door to stop vote counting until the Supreme Court could weigh in and extinguishing our voice for good, why were no arrests made? Where's the uproar? Maybe it's best to quit imagining we're lions and we roar. We're sheep and we bah. Our shepherds show us where to graze.

Well, there it is – the essence of democracy: It's our fault isn't it? We're the ones who voted them in. Why don't we stop complaining and just vote the bastards out? The catch being as everyone knows, very few non bastards ever survive the vetting process.

I suppose the current game is to find an excuse for Donald Trump. Heaven forbid the supposed party of decent behavior and the media on which we all depend for our opinions should be held accountable for sabotaging Bernie Sanders, thereby pointing out how not about the “people” the latter day system is. SUPER DELEGATES?!? Really? No, it's better to blame the age old punching bag.

And why should we care anyway? As Mrs. Robinson should know very well by now, every way we look at it we lose. Best just to ignore their silly games and concentrate on the real world. It's what sheep do - rely on the nice man with the long stick to protect them while they enjoy the grass. And it's more satisfying. Grass is good.