the Next GOP debate

"Trumpelstiltskin, you peed in your pants."

"Marco Rubio, is that all you can say?"

"Trumpelstiltskin, you peed in your pants."

Ben Carson says, “Will somebody please pee on me?”

John Kasich says, “What in the living hell is going on here? Has everybody gone bonkers?”

The moderator says, “Don't pay any attention to him. He's mayor of Ohio or something.”

“Trumpelstiltskin, look at my doody,” Rubio says, reaching into his pants.

But Trumpelstiltskin has already thrown his and it's zooming toward Rubio's face. Rubio ducks in time for it to fly by and hit Kasich in the mouth just as he's about to say something else irrelevant.”

“Oh sure, hit Kasich,” Carson says. “What about me?”

“And now,” says the moderator, “for the next question.”

So then Trumpelstiltskin eats all the Republican things and craps them out altogether in a giant pile of conservatism. “Trumpelstiltskin for president,” he says and leaves the stage.