It has been brought to my attention that the mystery of the imminent extinction of bees has been solved. Cell phone towers never seemed like a good idea but now, it seems there is strong evidence that the signals they emit confuse bees and prevent them returning to the hive. Thus the dead bees that have been found scattered about.
This of course dooms life as we know it. All so people can have a stupid cell phone.
If it must start here, so be it. Cell phone slaves of the world unite! Yes, I know I’m appealing to sheep that now are dependent on Constant Contact with the flock but where would we be without optimism? Much like Nero, the government and cell phone profiteers(the same club) won’t do anything about it, so here’s your chance to be heroes. Toss your phones. You may even be surprised how good it feels to cut your tether and incidentally save humanity. It’s just that simple. Can you do it? Can you?
Oh well, it was worth a try.