Monday, June 28, 2010

Friend is a verb

Number 1 clearest sign that communication in modern America is dead:

Friend is a verb.

Befriend was a verb already there and ready to go but it didn't make the cut. Maybe because it actually means something good, referring to the compassionate act of befriending someone. No, they had to take one of the noblest nouns in our language and strip it of decency, emotion and meaning. Friend is now a verb that lives in the wasteland of computers. In computer-speak you can talk complete nonsense and people will respond to you in kind. So anyway here's how my day went:

I woke up and floored my feet so I could food myself. After that I outsided myself and got biked. I biked over to Jack's and we automobiled to the beach where we oceaned until we got sundowned. Then we barred at the Breakers and I beered Jack because he hasn't been moneyed lately. After that we womaned. We didn't woman very well so we just homed. It was real.

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