what's in a name

I noticed lately that the U.S.A. no longer uses soldiers. The adventurers springing from our shores are now all warriors. I'm pretty sure they're not Indians so it makes me wonder what's going on. Soldiers fetch the image of men reluctantly doing their duty, “soldiering on” to satisfy the government's requirement of killing or getting killed. Or both. “Warriors”, however, evokes the image of men who like nothing better than to run joyously into battle. It's what they get up for in the morning, wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they weren't fighting.

Could be they're still as reluctant as ever, volunteer army or not, still comprised largely of people who saw no more appealing alternative.   Maybe it's simply because “warrior” goes better with “wounded” and there's sure plenty of them. Wounded warriors sounds a lot cooler than sick soldiers. Maybe it's just that and not actually a p.r. campaign to make combat sound enviable.  Or to make of the participants a distinct class of  citizens.   Hard to say these days.

sign of the times

I don't get where all the hand wringing is coming from about “sexual harassment.” We all know what her ass meant. The most cherished American icon, melting hearts and inspiring enlistment for over half a century, is the photo of that sailor from WWII who saw an American woman publicly displaying in her sexy nurse outfit. It was V.J. Day so of course he couldn't resist bending her over backwards to plant a big one on her very public lips. Ever since then we've understood that's the way it is and how it should be. Men are men and women are, well, they're irresistible. You know darn well that if a big old sex-crazed Wave got photographed bending some small doctor over, it just wouldn't have caught fire because we can't relate to that.

Times being what they are, when everybody's opinion is a big deal, some people are saying she may not have enjoyed that kiss. Sure. There's a reason why the series of statues honoring this moment is titled “Unconditional Surrender.”

Without doubt the uniforms are what immortalized the picture, made it bigger than two people caught in a moment of national ecstasy. This was the entire U.S. Navy nailing all those nurses that have been sauntering by them without so much as a howdy-do. Nowadays it would just as likely be some big homosexual Marine grabbing an unsuspecting male nurse. And where would be the outrage then? People would say it was gay rights, that's all.

A 25 foot tall statue of this famous photo dominates the Sarasota bayfront. If our current president had been born 20 years earlier and managed to get himself a sailor suit, that photo would have been more to the point and made an even better statue. Those same people probably would call it a monument to sexual assault. If that's what it is, then so be it. Art imitates life and that sculpture sets the tone for the fundamental aspect of life continuing. This is the United States of America and here it stands. Parents in Sarasota don't have to worry about teaching their kids the birds and the bees. They can just take them to the park. We're lucky it wasn't a Confederate soldier. They'd probably have to pull it down.

peas porridge cold

Regarding the moral outrage now seething in the Senate, I'd like to know what has positioned that August body to resent rubbing shoulders with sexual deviates. I recall this being the crowd that sat on their hands while the Iraq horror was cooked up and delivered; the same club that presided over Viet Nam, the host of the McCarthy era, etcetera, we could take it all the way back to extermination of the Indians. Would that senators confine their sins to sexual deviancy and do their job with a modicum of decency.

If Alabama voters, never renowned for their great choices, want a pedophilic sexual predator to represent them, then that's what they should have. Hell – look at the g-damn President. Furthermore, maybe Ray Moore doesn't fill that bill anymore. Considering his trademark religious fervor, the man's probably been trying hard to reform and get right with God. Who knows? He might even become someone who will vote against war. Remember Robert Byrd?

rise of the couch tomatoes

I noticed people are still making sounds with their mouths about how the football workers shouldn't ought to be protesting. One guy at the St. Pete Seafood Festival, where I was selling my great books, said to me they shouldn't be exercising their American right to protest “at work”. Where else are they going to do it? Work is the only place where they're coerced into standing for the anthem.

I find it unsettling that this is seen as a protest. Aren't these men just exercising their American right (American Indians not included) to the pursuit of happiness which, for some people means not standing up because a particular song they never liked that much is playing for the umpteenth time right before they go to work? This is required only of sports heroes. What if every time you sat down at your desk in the morning, the office manager stood up and started belting out the Star spangled Banner? Would you feel like standing except maybe to punch him out?

Maybe they feel like they've demonstrated their patriotism enough times already. Maybe they're hoping for a better rendition with musical accompaniment. Time was, you got a brass band, not a lone egomaniac who is sure we're going to like it a cappella. Maybe they see standing as an empty gesture, nothing on actually going to war. Who's to say standing beats kneeling anyway? The biggest question is why does anybody care?

Why are people watching these games? Why is it so important?  Why do they rise briefly from the couch to condemn the gladiators for being sentient?  Watching sports on tv is fine entertainment for people who unfortunately are disabled. One of the strangest spectacles of modern times is able bodied people sitting down watching other people play football and then talking about it all week when they could organize pick-up games and go outside and actually experience it and relive their own glory. Pass footballs, not time. You live only once.

how far is up

The question of the day, for baseball fans is: why is it okay to make fun of athletes for being short? Why are race and religion not okay but stature, apparently is fair game? i.e. Jose Altuve 5' 6'' slugger on the Astros. Nobody says “Who knew a Hispanic guy could hit the ball that far?” Nope. It's his size they hang the humor on. Here's revered sportscaster Bob Costas' hilarious comment while Altuve celebrated after hitting a home run: "It's enough to make a guy feel six feet tall." Further evidence is the popular 70's song “Short People” which lays it out succinctly - “Short people have no reason to live.” Why not black people? Certainly they have no more reasons to live than a short one. Or how about short black people? Who can argue with that? Nary a mention. Perhaps someday "short" will be isolated as a race and then they'll fall under the umbrella of politeness. 

However Indians don't get a pass. They get to be team mascots and suffer the indignity of hilarious caricatures. We don't see the Nashville Negroes out there with a picture of Al Jolson on their caps. Speaking of that, there's no Jewish team either so here we have selective fun poking. Where's the Charleston Chinese with a chink in the armor?

Maybe the Indians have to take it because there just ain't many of 'em left. What's wrong with using the cause of that? Why no Cleveland Cavalry with a picture of Randolph Scott on the cap? If there was the Connecticut Cavalry, then they could play the Indians and we'd see what's what.
Back to Altuve, it all seems like good fun but I'll bet it originates in a dark place. People are accustomed to feeling superior to short people and they don't like it when one of them makes this very difficult. So they just have to bring it all back to the inescapable fact. They won't give him an even footing, so the Sportscasters have to keep reminding us that he's short, something Altuve has probably been fighting his entire life. They'll probably give him an asterix in the record books.