Golf, Anyone?

Anybody else notice how creepy the terminology is on WMMO FM radio? It seems to issue straight from the bosom of the great corporate mother, soothing and consoling her minions in their monotonous presence, the queen bee blowing her slaves a common experience in their ears, granting brotherhood in their unified purpose never to flag in feeding the beast they were born to serve.

Yes, they have music for your “drive time,” you hordes of insects on your way to work, altogether swarming from the little houses and apartments you swap your lives for. They even run interference on the highway to ensure you arrive on time. To ease you back to your “quality time” music, of course is music for the drive away from work.

They have your life fine tuned, music for every aspect of it – driving to work, driving home and the “quality time” before you go to sleep. Why do they divide your life like this? Why can't they just play the music? It's rude not to speak to those Orlandoans who don't nine-to-five, leaving them out of this mass medium of existence, alienating them from the mainstream.

Since it is ultimately all about maintaining the Great Work Pyramid, none of this is haphazard. And while you may have somewhat individual, if largely indistinguishable lives, you are enhanced by the same soundtrack. And what a soundtrack it is! Some time back WMMO dropped the pretense of playing many different songs, claiming no longer variety but “the best variety”, meaning a handful carefully chosen to maintain your hypnosis, recycled ad nauseum. Many of the mid-day songs are rendered by someone apparently straining his voice through the anus of a unicorn, venting for “listeners” the anxiety produced by their sensory overload of an existence. If they do play a song you love, keep “listening” – you'll soon tire of it. But to spice up life, they offer “listener rewards” and “free money!”

For sure clones of WMMO are directing lives all over the land of the free and the home of the brave, “listeners” dutifully drinking their cups of coffee so they can volunteer to be cogs in a machine, then trading caffeine for Budweiser Saturday and Sunday, stupidly being swept into that sweet goodnight, satisfied to be one small drop in the vast tide of consumers drawing ever farther from the shore to drift without landmark or foothold.

What is the meaning for the targets? I think it can be found in the language, literally true. You say you work for so-and-so. Exactly right, you do. You do little for yourself, the bulk of your life devoted to the entity you “work for,” no doubt facilitated by the human propensity for worship. Imagine allocating this much time to your family or to nature. Perhaps you would not constantly be seeking a connection. But that would be too much “quality time” which is supposed to be a rare thing that happens briefly once a day with WMMO setting the tone. You are a “listener,” not making even your own noise. What an astounding gift is time, how readily squandered when in great abundance. WMMO hides nothing in the blatant patronization of her listeners. Listen closely and you will hear the broadcasters droning as to morons.

With only one day to live, few would spend it like this. But they willingly spend thousands. I'm just waiting for unicorn anus beer.